John McCain and Barack Obama to Debate ???

Next, John McCain Will Ask Barack Obama to Debate via Carrier Pigeon

Now that Barack Obama has become the standard bearer of the Democratic party (at least the sections of it without the surname Clinton), GOP nominee John McCain has decided to go on the general election offensive.

His first tactic: challenge that liberal whippersnapper to reenact historical events that took place when Obama was just a toddler...

The McCain campaign has issued a letter in the senator's name asking that Barack Obama agree to a series of at least 10 joint appearances this summer, with the first one next week in New York's Federal Hall.

Citing the original plan by Barry Goldwater and John F. Kennedy to fly around the country together in 1964, McCain writes [what] "a welcome change it would be were presidential candidates in our time to treat each other and the people they seek to lead with respect and courtesy as they discussed the great issues of the day, without the empty sound bites and media-filtered exchanges that dominate our elections."

Ahh, 1964. Weren't those the days? None of these pesky Web logs to generate empty sound bites for the proles. Fewer television sets to stand between Mr. Cleaver, the little lady and their elected officials. Back then it was just men, particularly white men, discussing the great issues mano a mano. The way it should be.

McCain is so commited to authenticity he even had his letter delivered the old-fashioned way...

Obama aide Bill Burton, a campaign source says, went downstairs in their Chicago offices just now to collect a hand-delivered copy of John McCain's invitation to Goldwater-Kennedy-style debates with Obama.

"You know, you could have just emailed this," a somewhat puzzled Burton told the middle-aged messenger.

No, Bill, I don't think they could have.

McCain hasn't figured out how to connect his typewriter to the internet.